First goal is to be a place of support for my daughter and future children.
I want them to be able to come to me if they need someone and know that I will do my best. I wont, and can’t solve every problem. I need them to learn things for themselves but if it’s something they can’t fix on their own I want them to know I’m there for them. My daughter came to me about a boy at school last year (I blogged about this last September some of you might remember.) He was touching her inappropriately. We went to the teacher and when it continued went to the principal. I fought for him to be moved to another class. We praised her for coming to us and I did everything I could to fix the situation so she could know I could support and protect her.
When someone at school is just being mean though I try to give her advice. Ideas on what to say, when to go to a teacher for help but at the same time explaining that a fact of life is that not everyone is nice and you have to learn to fight battles sometimes. I can prepare you and give her advice but if I solve them all she will never learn and I can’t always be there, unfortunately. I have tried to teach her though I will step in if I have to though. I hope to continue this support but advice path for all my children.
to teach them to love themselves.
I haven’t always had the greatest self esteem or opinion of myself. It’s very important to me that my daughter and future children do. I work very hard at complimenting and being encouraging in all that she does. Not just how she looks physically, of course shes told she’s cute and beautiful all the time, but also pointing out her intelligence and the things she does well. I want her to view herself as the awesome girl she is all around for as long as possible.
I also work hard at explaining this to other. Sometimes we tease in our families and if I can see it effecting her or making her feel bad I try to stop it or pull the person teasing aside and inform them she is taking it seriously and could they not say things like that again. I don’t want her to believe that they are telling the truth or think that’s what they really think.
I also work really hard at not criticizing myself. I know that little girls get there views on womanhood from there moms so I don’t want her seeing me be hard on myself. I’m not perfect at this but it is something I do make an effort at. I’m working on becoming a version of myself that she can be proud of and want to be like. It will always be a work in progress but I’m trying to not show as much of the negative sides of myself.
As a mom, I just want to keep having healthy, smart and kind children. Whatever I can teach them and help them become is fine by me. I really just love being a mom and want to continue to be the best I can.