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I’ve never been an aggressive person. I rarely yelled till I became a mother.

I found myself being overwhelmed by little things and yelling at my child.

I was always told that I should find out the trigger if I want to keep my cool.

Eventually, I worked on it and found out the main reason was the mess and stress spreading inside my brain. 

There are many things that can make a mom short tempered and less patient. 

Just like me, when you start looking for answers to “how to become a more patient mom?” The first thing you will hear will be “find out the trigger.”


This is so right, finding out the trigger is crucial and instead of trying to stay calm, working on the triggers is the best way to avoid losing temper.

Please note that this article contains affiliate links. Please see my full disclosure at the bottom of the page.

Top 10 Reasons Moms Lose Temper

Here are the most common reasons for mothers losing patience quickly and what to do to avoid them.

  1. Fatigue
  2. Stress or depression
  3. Bad hormonal days
  4. Disorganization
  5. No planning
  6. Unrealistic expectations
  7. Not getting adequate sleep
  8. Negative mindset
  9. Not Learning “Parenting”
  10. Not taking care of your ownself

1- Fatigue:

The most common reason is “Fatigue”. I found out that the more I’m tired the more I yell.

Although fatigue is a natural side effect of the workload a mom carries, there are ways to overcome it.

 How to fix it:

  • Eating protein and a fiber-rich food, 
  • Exercising,
  • Sleeping well
  • Losing a few pounds 

These factors helped me a lot to overcome fatigue.

(Exercising is the key for me)

2- Stress or Depression:

Stress is the inability to cope with the emotional pressure while depression is the feeling of sadness or losing interest in activities. 

For many mothers is Money Stress or Relationship Stress. There’s a lot happening in our lives besides having and taking care of children.

Depression is way too common these days.

Almost every other person is suffering from some sort of depression (mild or severe).

Stress and sometimes depression are the common reasons mothers lose temper. 

How to fix it?

Deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness help with stress and if you feel like you might be suffering from depression, there is no harm in talking to a therapist.

3- Bad hormonal Days:

Every woman has to deal with hormones related issues. These issues are not necessarily related to health problems but every woman with totally normal hormones suffers from some bad hormonal days.

Usually, the last few days of the hormonal cycle are the worst. Women tend to be more aggressive and angry at these times of the month.

How to fix it?

Acknowledging that your anger must be due to the hormones may help you to stay calm with your children.

Also, you can try chamomile tea, which is known for its soothing and calming properties.

Increase your physical activity and avoid simple carbs to stay active.

4- No Organization or A Messy House

For cleaning freaks, this is the most common reason for losing temper so quickly. At least for me, this is.

When there is a mess around the home, I feel overwhelmed. 

I noticed that this is the most prominent trigger for me losing patience.

According to Shape, organization and decluttering can help in improving your relationships and your level of stress.

How to fix it?

Simple! focus on organization. The best way is to engage your children. My daughter is 3 and she has been helping me to keep the home organized since she was 2.

It’s not like she is always helping me, but most of the time. 

(Set realistic expectations! A home with kids can’t stay organized every time but you should keep trying. Your kids will eventually learn and will start helping you)

5- Not Planning or Writing a To-Do List

Planning is a very important factor to improve the level of mess spreading inside your brain.

If you don’t have a proper plan pasted on a paper, you are more likely to stay distracted and overwhelmed and it becomes a reason for moms losing temper quickly.

How to fix it:

Create a written daily plan.

This is the best thing I did to myself. I started writing a daily to-do list and it helped me a lot in staying organized and productive throughout the day.

Just spend 2 minutes before bed on writing a short to-do list for the next day and make the next 24 hours more productive and less overwhelming.

6- Unrealistic expectations

Setting unrealistic expectations from your children (and partner) makes you lose your temper quickly. It’s not them, it’s your own mind. You are hoping for the things that can’t happen or that are not in control of anyone.

How to fix it?

Learning about the children’s capabilities respective to their age will help you set realistic expectations. You can’t expect your 3-years-old to sit in one place and listen to you like an adult.

Understand that your children are different individuals and they have their own needs and wants. 

Acknowledge the facts and accept the reality, it will help you to stay more calm and patient.

7- Not learning “Parenting”

Many parents don’t learn “parenting”; for them, parenting is taking care and providing for the needs of the children and it’s about showering your love. 

But it’s not like that!

Your baby throws a tantrum, you start hugging her! Doesn’t work! You offer her favorite food! Doesn’t work.

You get frustrated, you lose tamper. Bang!

Not learning about tactics to deal with children as per their age may cause you to be less patient.

How to fix it?

Learn to parent! Learn about positive ways to deal with your children.

Follow good parenting blogs, Read parenting books join Facebook groups of other moms and learn from their experiences.

8- Not Getting Adequate sleep:

Poor sleep is one of the most important factors to make you more aggressive and short-tempered.

A study was published by Alexander Muacevic and John R Adler, in 2018, it concluded that”A large body of research supports the connection between sleep deprivation and mood changes such as increased anger and aggression. Individuals who get an adequate amount of sleep each night exhibit fewer emotional outbursts, such as anger, and display fewer aggressive behaviors.”

How to fix it?

Being a mother of young children, getting adequate sleep becomes a challenge, but increasing the quality of sleep may help.

  • Go to bed at the same time everyday, this way you will not have to wait for your brain to shut down. When you will have a fixed bedtime, you’ll immediately fall asleep after placing your head on the pillow.
  • Avoid screen time at least 2 hours before bedtime.
  • Avoid consuming caffeine late in the day.

9- Negative Mindset

A person with a negative mindset focuses more on the bad side of everything, and that creates the problem.
A negative person is more likely to lose his temper immediately on small matters.

Usually, moms are stressed and have a lot of overwhelming things going on around their lives so they are at constant risk of getting a negative mindset and that makes them short-tempered.

How to fix it?

I figured out that I have to consciously work on my mindset if I want to stay positive. I understood that being happy and being positive are two different things.

How to work on the mindset?

I’ve tried it and told many people about it. It really helps everyone. 

10- Not taking care of yourself

Last but not least! It’s the most common and important factor of mothers losing temper so quickly. “Not taking care of yourself” is a parenting mistake. How?

When moms don’t take care of themselves they are missing a very important part of being cool and calm. 

Moms feel sluggish and ignored and they lose their patience. 

How to fix it? 


First of all, understand that self-caring is not selfishness and then start taking good care of yourself. 

Eat your favorite meals, exercise daily, go to the salon regularly, don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it. 

So, these were those top 10 reasons behind moms losing temper so quickly. 

Ask yourself?

Now ask yourself these questions to evaluate yourself:

  1. Am I eating right? Am I exercising? How much quality sleep do I get? Am I taking enough care of myself?
  2. What are my expectations from my family?
  3. Am I learning enough about parenting?
  4. Do I plan and organize things?
  5. Do I understand my own hormones and monthly cycle and what I’m doing about it?

Action Plan:

  1. Start taking care of yourself; it’s not selfish.
  2. Write down your expectations from your children and how you should change them!
  3. Follow parenting blogs and read parenting books.
  4. Start practicing my 3 minutes therapy every night to set your mind to positivity
  5. Start writing a daily to-do list.